Can meaning and capitalisim co-exist?
Our beloved Dahlias … the reason we started looking for more meaning in our lives.
It’s been awhile. I wish I were more disciplined about blog posts but … I’m not. Another goal for 2025 has made the vision board. When I write a blog I try to keep the topics to something interesting. I find myself feeling that I “should” be writing about flowers, growing stuff and the latest “tips and tricks” but that just isn’t my thing. The internet is saturated with that. A simple google search will teach you nearly everything you want to know about farming, flowers, gardening and the like. It’s interesting. It’s educational and it definitely has value. We have our favorite “go to” resources too. But I continue to be drawn to more dense topics. Sometimes I wish I wasn't this way. Like why do I have to be so damn over analytical? Why am I not content with just simple thoughts? Making a new recipe is just about the recipe and completion of each task and then relishing in the tastes of my labor and time. No, no … I’m the woman that wonders about the history of the recipe, who made it first? Did that person get credit? Was it a woman? probably. Did she get credit? probably not. Why aren’t women more revered for their talent? When did this evolutionary sexism begin? Is it inherent in the species? When is it ever going to change? UGH! SOMEONE MAKE IT STOP! Why isn’t the simple act of baking a new recipe just that? My daughter recently said to me, “sometimes I just wish I was a dumb bitch that only cared about my hair and trivial stuff… like life would be so much easier!” My response, “sorry baby …. it’s genetic.”
Which brings me to the title of this blog. Purpose and meaning and Capitalism … can they co-exist? If you’re the type of person who skips down to the end for my answer, let me save you the trip by adding that I’m not actually sure. I think there is a collision between these principles that cannot be reconciled and for those of us living in capitalist societies, we are often deeply unsettled about wanting more purpose and meaning in the midst of consumerism on steroids. Unless you are born into wealth, or the “wealth fairy” drops endless funds into your bank account somehow, you are also stuck with the requirement that you consider money as a principle part of your life. There is no avoiding it. I mean you could run away to land where native people still operate a barter economy (if that exists), or you could just “live off the grid” in a used camper experiencing endless adventures trying to find an electrical hookup, but let's be honest, not many people are going to do that, and neither are we. Most of us, especially in good ole’ America, will strive for enough money to live a decent and enjoyable life. What that means depends on your interests of course, but I can’t think of anyone who strives for poverty. And no matter how many rich people tell you that money “doesn’t make you happy” the rest of us without money know that only rich people have the audacity to say such ridiculous things. Money isn’t the only pathway to “happy” but it sure makes life easier, more convenient and less stressful and all of those things exponentially make happiness more attainable. Sorry Oprah, you’re full of shit.
In light of the recent election, we are especially riddled with internal contradictions. There is no way, even if you voted for Donald Trump, that you can ignore the wage disparities in this country. It is impossible to deny that money is the pathway to power and influence. Tom and I have been talking about all of this with our adult children A LOT. They are as confused as we are, and sadly, even less motivated to do anything about it. They want “the American Dream” just like we all do, but their pathway to it is paved with potholes that will make the destination nearly impossible to achieve. What can we possibly do but sit there and agree with them that they are entering the world at a time when the old and stale platitudes about the American Dream won’t really apply to them. How could it? We see the reality of what lies ahead for them, and we don’t have the luxury of handing them a financial leg up by way of a trust fund or a generous Roth IRA.
If I’m being brutally honest, I vacillate between two extreme spaces: “fine, if money is the path to freedom, then were going to get ours too. Move over, we’re going to play this game like everybody else” vs. “I want nothing to do with the “ick” of capitalism if it looks like this. Instead I want to retreat, ignore, isolate and protect.” The thing is, neither of these approaches feels good. One succumbs to greed and selfishness in ways that challenge our integrity far too deeply, the other cuts us off from human connections that are so important to feeling like life is good.
So what in fuck can we all do? How can we pursue lives of meaning, within the reality of living on the side of the seesaw that has hit the ground? The hill feels too large to climb, we feel powerless. Paying attention to the news only exacerbates the angst. How can we live in this moment and still feel like we are doing something meaningful? There HAS TO BE a path. But is there?
I’ve written in a previous post “All Roads Lead to Money” about the absolute slog of fundraising as an entrepenuer, and the absolute crickets we heard as we tried fundraising as a flower farm. Agriculture is not exactly the place where any venture capitalists want to sink some money. Why? Because they know that the return on their money will be slow and not nearly at the margins that they can get elsewhere. So if the end game is only about money, and making more of it, it’s going to be an uphill battle to find the money needed to launch a successful farm operation. It can be done, but not without capital. Someone is funding these Instagram dream farms, usually a bank via debt, or through savings accrued from non farm income, or family generosity. It is rarely, if ever, built from farm income alone. And herein lies the deep dilemma of seeking a meaningful life and wanting to grow flowers or food and surround yourself with nature and animals and peace… it’s going to cost you a lot of money. These things feel so disconnected. You want peace, and peace will cost you. It’s a hamster wheel that you can not avoid, but no one really talks about the reality of these two things co-existing, and how utterly agonizing it is to want peace but only get it if you can pay for it.
This season we are leaning into trying some new things to help us live in both of these worlds without going broke or becoming complete misanthropes. Meaning can be found in nature, and for us… flowers, but also through human connections. The best way to find them is in our local communities where we can see each other, eyeball to eyeball, in real life. We have lost that to Covid and social media to a large extent and current circumstances are calling us back to what we know works. We are noodling on ways to make our beautiful farm a place of serenity. The thought of creating more opportunities to share nature and flowers gives us all the warm fuzzy feelings we were looking for when we started this flower farming journey. We started there and then shit got real, and capitalism crept in and it was clear that in order to do this farming dream, we were going to have to get comfortable with making money. It wouldn’t have to become the only goal of the business, but it was required if we wanted to continue, and we did. But as we've grown and as capitalism appears to be careening out of control in the wide world, we think a return to community could achieve both profit AND connection. It won’t be easy. It’s damn hard to get people to come out of their homes. Since Covid we’ve all become more reclusive. Us too. But what is the antidote to the dread of feeling like money is the only path to happiness? We think it is turning inward but not tuning out. We’re going to watch less national news, but join our local chamber of commerce. We’re going to hold more u-pick events giving more access to flowers to our local community. We are going to host workshops and events that encourage more gardening, story telling, and sharing of flowers in exchange for labor. Money will be a part of the equation because it will give us freedom, but since money alone won’t give us peace, we must seek both. Helping our neighbors, sharing space and stories with people who we may not always agree with won’t solve the greed and intolerance in this country, but we can do small things to make a difference where we are and with the resources that we have. Flowers don’t discriminate, and neither will we. Our mission is to provide seasonal workshops, flower arranging classes, and u-pick events, all designed to foster a love for gardening and nature, right here, in our little corner of peace and calm.
If you live local to us and our farm and want to start your spring with weekly flower deliveries? We can help :) Check out our Spring bouquet CSA link below and stay tuned for more announcements for events and retreats amidst the flowers.
https://www.gratefulgardeners.co/spring-bouquet-csa
What are you going to do about making sure you create the ability (enough money) to create connection and meaning in your own life? We’d love to hear from you.
